Values in Action: When Living Your Values Comes at a Cost

Family is one of my core values.

Over the Christmas and New Year break, I was fortunate to spend a lot of time with family, time that I genuinely loved. Slowing down, reconnecting, laughing together, and being present reminded me why family sits so high on my values list.

But it came at a cost.

As the new year approached, I became aware of a familiar tension. While I deeply valued being fully present with family, I also knew that stepping completely away from work for too long would place pressure on the first part of the year.

Income still needed to flow.
Commitments still needed to be met.
Responsibility still existed.

And that’s where values can feel complicated.

When Values Compete

We often talk about living our values as if it’s simple — as if choosing what matters most automatically removes tension.

In reality, values don’t eliminate tension.
They help us navigate it.

Family matters.
Work matters.
Rest matters.
Provision matters.

Sometimes living your values means temporarily saying no to one value so you can honour another, without losing sight of either.

That’s not failure.
That’s maturity.

Learning to adapt, adjust, and make conscious trade-offs is part of living values in action.

Values Aren’t Fixed Rules — They’re Guides

One of the biggest misconceptions about values is that they operate in isolation.

They don’t.

Values work together like a compass, not a checklist. They guide direction, not perfection.

At times, you may need to lean harder into work.
At other times, you must protect rest or family fiercely.

The key is awareness.

When your choices are intentional, even when they’re difficult, you remain aligned.

Three Learnings

1. Values don’t remove tension — they clarify it

Tension isn’t a sign you’re off track.
It’s often a sign you’re trying to honour what matters.

When values collide, clarity, not guilt is required.

2. Saying no temporarily doesn’t mean abandoning your values

Pulling back from family time briefly to create stability wasn’t a rejection of family — it was an act of responsibility.

Values sometimes require patience, not permanence.

3. Awareness prevents resentment

Unspoken tension leads to frustration.
Acknowledged tension leads to alignment.

When you name the trade-off you’re making, it becomes a choice, not a burden.

Practical Actions

1️⃣ Identify your current value tension
Ask: Which two values feel like they’re competing right now?

Naming the tension brings clarity.

2️⃣ Decide which value needs priority, for now
Not forever.
Just for this season.

Clarity reduces internal conflict.

3️⃣ Revisit the balance regularly
Values shift in emphasis over time.
What matters is returning, not drifting.

Ask monthly:
Does how I’m living still reflect what I believe?

Living What You Believe Isn’t Always Comfortable

Values-led living isn’t neat or perfectly balanced.

It’s real.
It’s adaptive.
It requires honesty.

Sometimes it means enjoyment.
Sometimes responsibility.
Often both.

The goal isn’t perfect balance, it’s intentional alignment.

When you live what you believe, even the hard decisions make sense.

🔗 Want clarity on your own values?

Complete the Values Assessment here:
👉 https://www.effectiveinfluence.com/resources

Reach Out, and let's take time to discover how we can progress together.

Remember daily to, 'Find value in your influence.' Your voice matters, and I'm excited to hear from and work with you!"